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Pre-OP- Get this Cancer outta me!

(Previously published on Caring Bridge)

Hello, We hope you are all doing great!

We have had good day today as we had my pre-op appt. First Lee and I started the morning with a Starbucks and we laughed as we were talking about how this is becoming the routine drive to Markham Stouffville Hospital. We plan our route around yummy coffee options. No judgement please, as I know some of you prefer either green tea or Timmies, we all have vices in times of stress or celebration and it's these little moments that matter the most. So I choose to cherish them! :)

Great news! Surgery is booked for Monday March 13th, 2017 at 12:45pm. Whew!

So in lieu of that, I have had to stop my anti-inflammatories:( Wow! Were they ever working. So, my severe joint pain from Fibromyalgia/osteo-arthritis/mystery joint pain or whatever it is, is back. I have so much compassion for those who live in chronic pain. It's very very difficult. I can't speak as easily as usual, I am in a brain fog, and everything hurts all the time. It's extremely distracting and limiting. But, it's only a week. :)

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So this week I will concentrate on resting my body and keeping my mind positive and distracted. I am reading "The Invention of Wings" by Sue Monk Kidd and it is holding my attention. Book review to follow at another time.

On the day of surgery, I will be starving...according to Owen. He has had two dental surgeries in the last few years and he keenly remembers this. I told him I had a burger for lunch cause I wanted to "bulk up" in prep for surgery and he laughed!!!

A good friend brought us dinner tonight and it was delicious. Lee and the kids and I sat together and talked about what surgery and recovery will look like. When they can see me that day etc.

Lee helped Maddy with homework, Owen and Lee flew these tiny little drones around the living room and I loaded the dishwasher. It was a very "normal" evening, totally lovely and what we all needed.

So this morning started with blood work, then an appt. with the anaesthesiologist, then an appt. with a nurse and finally we popped by The Breast Health Center. All went very well, except that my blood pressure was a bit high. They suspect due to stress. I suspect due to pain, which causes stress. We had excellent care and everyone we saw was very kind.

The surgery is an "ultrasound guided partial mastectomy, with a sentinel node dissection".... Yes I actually memorize this kind of stuff. But more importantly, I know what it means. I am a strong advocate in knowing as much as possible about our health, our options, our team and our care. I have always been this way with our family. Now I just get to show off to all of you. LOL

My next step is to begin the process of researching how to deal with the body image stuff. Looking for prosthetics, not being able to use deodorant for a month after surgery, no shaving my left arm pit for a month. Will I ever be able to wear a wire bra again? I keep wondering how my clothes will look with only half a boob....Ya, I know, it sucks to think about, but this is the reality I am facing. And I am using humour, cause really, I can't cry on my iPad as it is not waterproof!

Well, that's our day. It just is what it is and we take it moment to moment right now. Peace out. Steph

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